Never, in my most pessimistic dreams, did I ever think that 7 marks could play the most dramatic role in changing my life. A life that already had few corners where happiness could be successfully preserved is now lacking smiles at any randomly selected point. The thought of what lies on the other side of those 7 marks, resides & prevails in my mind for virtually infinite amount of time. Unfortunately, I can't cherish it as I would have loved to, had it been real.
The state of constantly rusting in peace can have some remarkably disastrous effects on your brains, mind and your entire composure as a person. I'm out of my senses for a long time. My quality as a person (not claiming that it was considerable ever) has debased, humor has vitiated, presence is unwanted and in turn life is impaired. My career is at stake and so are many internal & external things.
The haunting thoughts of failure and spooky dreams of a disastrous future combine together to define 'nights' while the days are spent on things that I like to believe are productive, but in reality aren't. The dreams of an almost certain success and the belief that I'm the best of the best are tattered and torn. My self - esteem is at it's lowest and my self - confidence is far from existing.
However boring this article was, it was true. I guess I`m done. For all the readers of my blog (I'm sure there are few), here I stop & go on a sabbatical to learn more. 7 marks are the evil teacher, I must say!
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