The Black and White Minds

Peeping through each others’ present,
Walking over each others’ past;
They wandered across the roads that went far;
meeting sacred distances at that lonely hour.

The moon appeared in a queer shape.
The stars sparkled with a striking irregularity.
The black mind lost itself in the serenity of the dark;
the white one struggling to negate its own peculiar spark.

Black approached the white with an eccentric charm,
The white mind was excited at the very first glance.
It retorted fantastically with a bright, luminous spot,
Amalgamating itself with the black little dot.

Yesterday

It's after a long time that I'm writing something for my personal blog, or rather writing something that suits my personal blog. It feels good to be back to square one, good to be back home. This is where I learned to write, this is the place that has seen the stupidest of my articles, the most juvenile of them all. It's always a pleasure to look back at yourself and either analyze your past or get nostalgic about it or to do both. There is no greater delight than walking anti-clockwise, however fictitious the activity might actually sound.

Anyway, I'm not too sure about what exactly instigated this article. It might be my ever-wavering mind, or perhaps one of my friends' surprise tears, or perhaps someone else's eccentric smiles.

Yesterday was just another day, another Saturday that was destined to be wasted lavishly. But then, if I were to write about all the Saturdays that I have spent waifishly, I would be the most prolific writer of my generation. Why am I writing about yesterday? Some Saturdays, or days, are special. Some of them come with moments that can effortlessly freeze in your mind. Yesterday was probably one of those. I was just as I always am. Then who the hell beautified the moments? Come on, Mihir! You can't do that alone! (At least not with this new 'chop' cut, 'grass' cut, 'cancer patient' cut or whichever other hair cut one may call it as.) Actually, a mirror is all I need to have an elongated laugh now. Oh shit! Wait, what am I writing!

Ya, coming back to the point, I spoke smiles today, I screamed fun. Well, before I talk about the other half of the pair that wandered haphazardly on semi-lit roads yesterday, let me clarify that she is not the hottest girl around whom I am crazy for like a lunatic. Neither is this a romantic (or rather a wannabe romantic) article that I'm writing to pour out romanticism, as a love struck, streetsus Romeo, as Mark Knopfler had described in one of his songs. To be concise, she is pristine.

This girl ( who?? ohhhhooooo, aaaaaa.... well, shut up!!) has this unlimited hunger for stupidity and food. She can eat like a freaking horse at times. She is hardly not hungry. She can fight with me over a sizzler with a fork and a knife. She can drink a glass of fresh lime soda with 15 straws at a time. She can attempt to throw water on me in a public restaurant. She can laugh at people around us on their faces, she can laugh her heart out loud on public places leading her companions to a severe embarrassment. She lives for the moment. Nights charm her. Oh, does she personify the term, 'wannabe Mihir Chitre'? I once thought her to be 'Mihir inverse', but now she is exuding the exactly opposite charactersitics. But of course, there will always be a difference between Mihir and a wannabe Mihir! "I can either be modest or realistic." There will always be things that she can not do or will take time to learn(??). Such as, perhaps, pulling my hair out when I pull her (That's one of the few advantages of the chop cut). As far as I know, she has four admirers; three guys and a girl! All of them, with their own typical (funny) characteristics, right 'BUDDY'?

At times, she punches me on my face. At times, to counter that, I owe her hundred bucks. And she believes, she is gonna get them back! Ha..!!! Ya, did I mention she is optimistic? She tells me that she is. She believes she has the best hair around; though according to me she is bald in the 'front view', (Well, that must be wrong!!).

I once thought that she revitalizes my optimism. Does she? I don't really know. I don't know what makes her special. I don't even know if anything does. But yes, even with all my cynicism, I should accept the fact that she is one of those rare people who can resemble to me (Perhaps, she is Divya Shetty's closest competitor). "The more insanely one behaves, the closer she gets to Mihir".

She can smile, she can smile with me. She can laugh, she can laugh with me. But, so what? This is a regularity. Who has not enjoyed my company? (Han, being realistic, not modest) The special part is that I can smile and I can smile with her. I can laugh, and I can laugh with her. I don't look for any kind of perfection, actually, I don't look for anything whatsoever. Why should I? Who am I? But some folks come in mesmerizing packages, just as she does, and I like her for that. Though, some things are better left unsaid, it's awesome to have her around when the sun sets, the moon rises, the stars sparkle, and the walk starts...The Walk of Life!

Dhuan – A Smoky Tale (Fiction)

It's about a friend of mine who smoked 20 cigarettes a day. He would have his first cigarette early in the morning on the way to college. Tea Break, Lunch Break all took him to a paan shop. Every ring that ever rang in the college would foment an urge in his mind to have a smoke. He would literally crave for cigarettes. He was the most respected customer of all the paan shops around our college. His friends often joked that he should rather do an internship as a chimney in some factory than a technical job. Some had nicknamed him 'Dhuan' whereas some would call him 'Phukdi'. Often did his friends try to restrict him from smoking, of ten did they try to advise him not to smoke but his fanatical and careless approach ended up preventing his friends from advising him.

One fine day, 'Dhuan' decided to quit smoking. Nobody really knew the reason behind this drastic decision. Some guessed that it was his girl friend who forced him to take the decision, while the others believed that his family members came to know of his habit. 'Dhuan' would never tell the reason to anyone hence people had no option but to keep on guessing. In any case, his decision was made fun of publicly. Many laughed it off as the most intense lie ever. Many would taunt him continuously for not smoking for two days. They all were shocked & surprised and these were their natural reactions.

But my friend was neither deterred nor daunted. Often did he find the temptation irresistible.The temptation would reach its peak when he would see someone smoking. He behaved like a dog having rabies who could see water in front of its eyes but couldn't drink it. He took himself through all the temptations, all the taunts and remained impervious to them. He searched for ideas that would keep him abstemious while his friends smoked. He resorted to ice-creams as a substitute for cigarettes. Whenever his friends asked for cigarettes in shops, he would rush towards the nearest ice cream parlour and would buy a 'Feast' or 'Cornetto'. The question that he would ask commonly, 'Benson & Hedges OR Malboro' was now changed to questions like 'Feast OR Cornetto' and 'Naturals OR Baskin & Robins'. Soon, did this lead to a lot of expenditure since he would have to buy at least 5-6 ice-creams a day. Hence, he chose cheaper alternatives such as chocolates, cold drinks and junk food as he thought these things might as well help his lanky body to weigh more. But, even here there was a trap as his chocolates and cold drinks ended up being shared by 10 others while junk food was a very time consuming option.
Somehow 'Dhuan' managed to tackle all these hurdles. He still did not smoke. It was a Sunday. It was exactly a week since 'Dhuan' was no more 'Dhuan'. I was proud of his self control and went to his hostel room to congratulate him. He had finally won the bet that I had with him, unknown to everyone.

"Here are your 80 bucks buddy. I'll pay you the other 20 later", said I.

"No issues buddy! But why don't you buy me a packet of Malboro lites instead?” replied the person who had just personified his long lasting nickname once again.

The October Sky

so many questions,
so many dreams,
hopes, memories, smiles,
all are uncovered in every travelled mile
the anachronistic dead angels are on their way back to revitalize
coming back to my life to re - live all thats immortalized

This is my 19th winter.
not all those who were ever there are here again,
not all that was all along is by my side,
but the sky is still here,
flamboyant as ever!
together we memorize our old friends,
together we will celebrate this winter with the same fervor.
we love the winter ardently,
though destiny seems to hate us ruthlessly.
1/3 of the year is what I love the most
it's been the same all the way long,
when past comes to party & I'm on song!


October is back with all that it brings,
mind gets staggered, thoughts fly,
beginning of winter being seen in the October Sky !!

The Goa Diary...

Beauty, Booze and Babes are the three things that describe Goa to a large extent of perfection as one can find these things in abundance out there.

Day 1

My Goa trip started off with a bus journey with the usually sung songs in the background before I ate some considerably tasty sea food in a decent restaurant. Though I was starving for food with an empty stomach, girls wearing shorts and microminis gave me a pleasant shock which kept me away from thinking about my hunger for a while. The resort was good, our rooms were decent. They, at times, looked too congested but the fun lied exactly in the improperness of the rooms and randomness of behaviour.
The first afternoon was largely spent in having lunch, settling down in the resort and drinking Smirnoff. I paid a visit to Calangute beach with some some friends as beaches have fascinated me with a supreme consistency throughout my life. Calangute beach was serene and many of us drank on the beach though I preferred to stay sober and enjoy the beauty. My roomies were totally drunk back in the resort but I was still not in a mood to get drunk and I spent the night laughing quietly at their antics.

Day 2

Second day started off with what was supposed to be the most petty thing to be done in Goa - the Industrial Visit. I enjoyed the bus journey by singing songs and having frequent glances at the beauty outside. We spent around 40 mins in the industry, most of which were spent on a boring slide show which no one ended up seeing as most of them were asleep and the others like me were busy parodying it. We walked around in the evening on the roads of Goa as girls wearing minimum possible clothes, flaunting their in- shape bodies were a great feast for my eyes. The beach looked beautiful as ever. Goan beaches seemed to have an elegant appeal and a look of their own.
The night following this day, the second night, was the most amazing night in Goa as we - Me, Nereus, Ameya, Siddhi, Vatsal, Josephine and Romel, almost finished 2 Old Monk bottles in around 4 hours. We all drank the rum neat except for the one peg that I had mixed with Thums up and a couple of pegs that Ameya preferred to drink adulterated. I was totally zonked as my behaviour defined absurdity. Our room was publicly regarded as the most disastrous room as we shouted out loudly from our balconies late in the night, we knocked others' doors and ran off, we all shouted (and not sang) songs like 'Who the fuck is Alice' at the top of our voices. That session was one of the best zonked sessions I've ever had. My first packet of David Off lites got over in around 22 hours and I seemed like the most consistent chimney in Goa. I also performed the most stylish dance step on 'I'm a disco dancer' according to the sober few as I hardly remember what exactly did I do.

Day 3

The 3rd morning was spent in playing Cricket on the most beautiful beach I've seen in Goa - Vagator beach. It was fun to play Cricket after a long. I also tried my hand at playing football and undisputedly turned out to be the worst footballer around, but it was fun. As we were about to leave from the beach one of us thought of climbing up the fort that was just behind the beach. Though reluctantly, 4 others that included me supported the idea and went ahead with it. The view from the top of the fort was one of the most beautiful views I've ever seen but due to the heavy exertion, Me, Siddhant and Alfred preferred not to climb up as Mayank and Vineet Aguiar went right on top of the fort. As expected, our bus had left us and we had absolutely no mode of transport left. Finally, after walking optimistically for around half an hour, we found a transport that took us to the place where the entire gang was.
3rd evening was full of smokes and it was largely spent on walking on the beach. I experienced Jet Skiing which was good but too short for 150 bucks. Then the walk on Baga beach took the exertion to its peak but the foreigner chicks on that beach were simply hot and even the Indian girls were sexy. Baga beach had the look that we generally get to see in movies when we see Goa. Baga was the most happening beach in Goa.
In the night, we had a bonfire dinner planned on a shack on Calangute beach. The food quality was bad and the food was clearly overpriced but the beauty on the beach was totally mesmerizing with the inexplicably serene sky above and songs by Iron Maiden, Nirvana, Guns n Roses, Metallica, etc. being played in the back ground.
I drank comparatively lesser in the 3rd night than what I had in the second one, since we were supposed to get up very early in the morning. I tried Coffee liquor, Chocolate liquor and Feni for the first time out of which Coffee liquor stood out to be the best. I ended up not sleeping at all in the night as I had long chats with my roomies, sang songs in some other room where people were constantly singing the line, "Aankon mein teri...ajab si, ajab si adayein hai" with the same step. I spent all the time smoking continuously. Till 4 - 4. 30 in the morning, I had smoked around 40 cigarettes in 3 days out of which around 35 were smoked in the last two days and more than 20 in the last day.

Day 4

After sleeping for around 10 - 15 minutes in the chair, I took a nap, got ready for the journey. The entire 4th day was spent in the train, traveling back to Mumbai. The best time in the journey back was when we sang extremely pathetic hindi songs loudly. I named that singing session, 'All Fuckall'. I added many verses to the song 'XL ki kudiyan', that were liked publicly.

I reached back home at around 11 O'clock with a totally sleepy, exerted self, gradually exuding the Goan tales from my tired yet happy eyes.

7 marks away...

Never, in my most pessimistic dreams, did I ever think that 7 marks could play the most dramatic role in changing my life. A life that already had few corners where happiness could be successfully preserved is now lacking smiles at any randomly selected point. The thought of what lies on the other side of those 7 marks, resides & prevails in my mind for virtually infinite amount of time. Unfortunately, I can't cherish it as I would have loved to, had it been real.
The state of constantly rusting in peace can have some remarkably disastrous effects on your brains, mind and your entire composure as a person. I'm out of my senses for a long time. My quality as a person (not claiming that it was considerable ever) has debased, humor has vitiated, presence is unwanted and in turn life is impaired. My career is at stake and so are many internal & external things.
The haunting thoughts of failure and spooky dreams of a disastrous future combine together to define 'nights' while the days are spent on things that I like to believe are productive, but in reality aren't. The dreams of an almost certain success and the belief that I'm the best of the best are tattered and torn. My self - esteem is at it's lowest and my self - confidence is far from existing.
However boring this article was, it was true. I guess I`m done. For all the readers of my blog (I'm sure there are few), here I stop & go on a sabbatical to learn more. 7 marks are the evil teacher, I must say!